Putting Out Fires

Cover of The Wedding Date (Widescreen Edition)

I have a confession. Several nights back, I had a dirty dream. Where this dream came from, I have no idea. I suppose I should tell you what it was, though. In the dream, I was on vacation on a beach. I called up this guy - a male escort - for the sole purpose of getting it on. I didn't even know that male escorts existed until I had watched The Wedding Date a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, my escort was incredibly hot and...incredible...in many other ways as well. It was such a realistic dream that when I woke up, I was disappointed it was over and then worried that I had talked in my sleep because it seemed so real. I can only imagine what I would have said. Hubby never mentioned me talking in my sleep, though, so I figured I was safe.

The next night, just to be sure I didn't indulge in more dirty dreams, I laid in bed and read the news on my Blackberry. Financial problems, murder, mayhem, Michael Jackson - that will teach my subconscious a lesson! No way will there be any dirty dreams after that, right?

I woke up the next morning with the memory of burning buildings. Ahh, YES! No dirty dreams. Smugly, I walk into my bathroom and start getting ready for the day. Soon enough, hubby was behind me and I saw a smirk on his face as I looked in the mirror.

Him: Hey babe, have any good dreams last night?
Me: Hm, nope. I don't think so.
Him: Are you sure? There was lots of moaning.
Me: *Blushing* No, definitely not. I remember some burning buildings.
Him: These were not moans over a burning building.
Me: I was dreaming that I was trying to find a way to put out the fires! It was nothing dirty!
Him: Unless you were planning to pat out the fires with your gyrating hips, I'm pretty sure it was a dirty dream.

Putting Out Fires

When Will He Learn?

Hubby spent three hours at Lowes yesterday picking through all the doors, crown molding, baseboard, etc. to pick the very best of it for my bedroom. I appreciate the effort he's putting into this bedroom for me. I really do. That's why he needs as little interference from me as possible. I'm a complete klutz and screw up when it comes to any sort of manual labor.

So, having not learned his lesson in the previous weeks, he asked me to help him carry a door into the bedroom.

ME: Honey, that is such a bad idea. You know what a klutz I am.

HIM: All you have to do is keep it away from the ceiling fan.

*Note: Not sure why we didn't think to just turn off the ceiling fan. We just didn't.*

ME: *Sigh* OK.

HIM: *As he maneuvers door almost past the ceiling fan* OK, OK, Careful, that's it...careful around the fan.

ME: *Looks down to see where clumsy feet are going*

THWAP! THWAP! THWAP! THWAP!

In case you didn't know, that's the sound of the ceiling fan tearing into the brand new door for our bathroom.

Hubby then looks at me with a completely horrified look on his face. Horrified that I could actually be so clumsy as to do the very thing he told me not to do 10 seconds before. Horrified that he spent so much on the door to just have me ruin it. Horrified that it's going to take him even more time now to make it look OK after the ceiling fan's attempt to rip it to shreds.

After I had a mini mental breakdown and vowed to myself that I will never move again lest I cause more destruction, I mumbled an apology. He's only made a couple of remarks about it (to make fun of me).

When will he learn that asking me to help with such things is only creating more work for himself?

On another note, if you want to know what we are doing in our bedroom, here's a picture.

These are the colors (wall is Pine Needle, ceiling is Ochre, trim is Honeysuckle Bloom). I'll take a picture of our actual bedroom once the crown molding is up and the hardwood floor is installed. Yep, I wanted hardwood in the bedroom. I'm not a carpet kind of gal. Well, that and the fact that we have three cats who seem to prefer vomiting on carpet rather than smooth surfaces. I wonder why that is?

When Will He Learn?

Small Doses of Sarcasm

I love sarcasm. Other people, not so much. Therefore, I try to keep my doses as small as possible when I'm around others. Hubby, in particular, while having a dry humor of his own, tends to think that I'm nagging when using sarcasm.

But sometimes, I just can't help it.

Case in point: I am in the kitchen loading this dishwasher and spy the vacuum with its cord strewn all through the den. Hubby has used the vacuum because he vacuumed the bedroom. I should be grateful he vacuumed the bedroom, right? I am. But I just can't stop myself from saying..."What exactly is your aversion to wrapping the cord around the vacuum properly?"

Another example: Hubby will hit snooze on his alarm a bazillion times. Again and again and again...I can't stand it. How do you people keep doing that? The sound is so irritating to me that I have to get up the first time the alarm goes off so I don't hear it again. After one too many times of hearing his alarm a few days ago, I threaten to kick his nipples off if he lets it go one more time.

I'm really trying not to complain or be too sarcastic. Back in May (I think), I did a complaint free week and it was wonderful! We did get along better, absolutely. It requires more patience than I have on a full time basis but perhaps it's time to try again. Who's with me. Anyone...anyone?

Small Doses of Sarcasm

Sit This One Out

As you know, hubby and I have been renovating (pics to come soon, I promise). So...we were painting in our bedroom last night. We added sand to the paint to give the walls some texture (and it is also wonderful for hiding flaws). I have NEVER painted with sanded added, though. I look at the thick goop, roll my roller in it...and just stare at the wall.

ME: I don't know what to do.
HIM: You just paint like you do without the sand in it.
ME: Really? I thought there would be a difference.
HIM: Just do it like this...*proceeds to show me how.*
ME: Got it.

A few minutes pass...
ME: I'm not getting this. Mine looks awful.
HIM: Keep trying, just do what I showed you. Go over the bottom because you have a lot of texture up top and not much at the bottom.
ME: *Hesitantly* Erm, ok.

A few more minutes pass...
HIM: *Looking at my wall that is now flawed almost beyond repair*...Why don't you sit this one out?

So, moral of the story is, I sucked. I do not know how his walls are so awesome and mine look like a two year old did them. *Sigh* I'm not talented at this sort of thing. I know what I want, but I want someone else to do it for me. Any volunteers?

Sit This One Out

For REAL?

Wow, I had no idea that I hadn't updated this blog since May. My, how time flies when you're...not blogging. No excuse, really. I've been busy...yes. But who isn't? So this will just be a mishmash of what I have in my head right now.

1. We have been doing loads of home improvement projects and most recently finished the tile in the bathroom. Fun. Or not. But it looks great, so I'm happy. We are painting the bathroom and our bedroom next...doing new trim, doors, ummm basically everything. Oh and we're doing hardwood floors. This is our tile (which we got on clearance).


2. Next Saturday will be one year since my brother passed away. In the past couple weeks I've went through being sad, angry, grieved, devastated, happy that he's no longer in pain...and now...like there's a big gaping hole in my heart. I thought that since I had dealt with it well in the past few months that the one year anniversary of his death wouldn't be that difficult. It is. It's hard. And it sucks.

3. I'm thinking of becoming Catholic. I don't feel the need to really elaborate on this anymore at the moment...maybe sometime in the near future, though.

4. I'm back to wanting a baby. Badly. We were very much considering adopting a little girl, but circumstances weren't favorable...though those are changing with the little girl we were considering. So...we'll see.

5. Finally, I probably haven't been blogging as much because I've been journaling more. Actual "hold in your hands" type journals. While I've been journaling, I've been listening to David Nevue. Wow, is he awesome. I had never even heard of him before I listened to his music on someone else's blog. This is one of my favorite songs:

How are all of you?

For REAL?